The New Boy

( Author's Note: Sorry about the weird formatting on this. It won't even let me italicize it to do this author's note. Just ignore the awkward dialogue and format in general) After dinner, she walked out to the yard, and sat on the stoop. The cool air helped calm her queasy stomach. Her youngest brother was shooting hoops alone. When he saw her, he walked over. "What happened to Robbie?" he asked her, "Why doesn't he ever come over anymore?" "Me and Robbie broke up," she responded. "Why?" She grimaced and ignored him. Realizing he wouldn't get an answer, her brother returned to playing basketball. Alone. At age 15, she knew too much about loneliness. Her brother looked bored. He returned over to the stoop. "Do you have a new boy?" he asked. "I suppose." she responded. "Will I get to meet him?" he asked. "Probably not." "Why?" Again no answer. This time her brother went to go sit on one of three swings. She watched as his look of boredom returned. He walked over to her a third time. "Did you meet him at school?" "No." "Well where did you meet him?" "Somewhere else." "Do you see him at school?" "No." "Does he go to your school?" "He used to." "He moved?" "No." Her brother walked away to go ponder the missing boyfriend. He took his bike out of the garage, and began riding in circles around the driveway. The sun was beginning to set she noticed. Must be almost 8. In an hour it'd be getting dark, and all the bars would open. She grimaced at the thought.

The Grim Reality of Heaven

When you think of heaven, several pleasant thoughts pop into your head don't they? Thoughts such as being surrounded by family at all times, or having an endless summer with all your friends. Thoughts of eliminating homework, chores, and errands from your to do list. Thoughts of eliminating your to do list itself. Maybe even thoughts of being able to protect your loved ones that are yet to join you in this paradise. Unfortunately for Susie Salmon, a rape and murder victim, heaven isn't like that in the least. When Susie first arrives in her heaven, she meets her two companions Franny and Holly. And although they are nice, Susie keeps expecting to meet family. Little does she know, things don't exactly work like that in this sort of "heaven." Everyone is sorted into different heavens based on what their desires where on Earth. Unfortunately for Susie, she doesn’t seem to share a lot of the same interests as her family. Towards the end of the novel Holiday (the family dog) dies. He is reunited with Susie, as she was always his favorite person. This only makes sense because she was his desire. Grandma Lynn however is not, due to her strong love of alcohol she is placed in a heaven where she can drink to no end. Susie may have everything she ever wanted, but that's only material wise. She would give it all up to end the yearning for he loved ones. One of Susie's on Earth desires happened to be having teen magazines for school books. And although this wish is granted, Susie isn't entirely happy about it. Why have school after death in the first place? After you pass on there is nothing to work towards. It’s not like you're expected to grow up, move away, and support yourself anymore. That is no longer an option, your only option is to stay in this limbo forever. Death is known as an "eternal rest." In my opinion school isn’t restful, and simply takes away another important component of heaven. Despite these two let downs, Susie does have control over one thing: Earth. Or at least the people she loves. She is able to send them signals, appear in household items, and watch over them whenever she pleases. When it comes to Earth she is free, and watching what goes on without her at least brings her a little joy. She soon latches on to Earth as her only escape from the grim reality of heaven. However everything changes when one of her companions informs her that this isn't heaven, and the only way to escape this limbo, is to completely give up Earth. Susie's friend says it so casually, yet it implies so much. Giving up her parents. Giving up her brother. Giving up her sister. Giving up her best friends and first love. In order to rest in peace, Susie must leave behind the last remnants of those she loves.

Hemingway Response

(This is my response to the story, "A Clean Well Lighted Place.") 

    The story "A Clean Well Lighted Place," reminded me a little bit of a quote I've heard that goes something like "The prettiest smiles hid the deepest secrets, and the prettiest eyes have cried the most tears." In my opinion that quote is saying that things or people aren't always how they appear. Even though Selena appears to be happy and enjoying her career, she might still cry the night away over Justin. You just never know. The same goes for the older more compassionate waiter. Although he appears to be sympathetic and caring, he can hardly even take care of himself. The end of the story reveals that he cannot sleep during the night, and instead waits until the sun rises to go to bed. Who knows why he must do this, what kind of secrets does he have?

Pinky (Why the game of "hard to get" should only go so far)

For Jenna



 

Pinky

With his grotesquely overconfident attitude

His effortless swagger

And his obvious good looks

Pinky

Ears pierced

Pink swim trunks on

Surrounded by others

Others who attempt to look identical to him

But cannot

Pinky is one of a kind

Pinky

Lays eyes on me

Keeps his cool

His face still in locked in a permanent smirk

Pinky

Checking me out

Not even trying to be discreet

Because he knows I'm looking his way as well

Pinky

Surprised, astounded even

Because I enjoy playing "hard to get"

And hopefully he enjoys the chase

Pinky

Well Pinky's butt

Being carried to me

By his rather large friend

Pinky

Being set down in front of me

And being commanded to talk to me

And offering

Sophie

Turning him down, in hopes she'd see him again

Where she would run up behind him

And jump on his back

Sophie

Never seeing him again

Never talking to him

Filled with regret

The Real Slim Shady

   Some call him legendary, others call him vulgar, but he is known to everyone worldwide as the famous white rapper Eminem.  Wherever Eminem goes, controversy follows. Whether it's for his explicit lyrics, his daughter Hailie, or his infamous on and off relationship with ex-wife Kim, the media is always on Em's case. But looking at his life in retrospect, who could blame them?

     Eminem's story starts not as Eminem or Slim Shady, but as Marshall Mathers. It begins with a classic young daddy who can't handle the responsibilities of an infant, and therefore decides to leave the family. His father, Marshall Mathers Jr. (whom he was named after) left after only the first 6 months of Marshall’s life. That didn't stop young Eminem from trying to reach his dad. He would often draw pictures and write letters to his father, but they were all returned to him (Esling). Later in some of his raps, daddy got some special shout outs for example: "When you see my dad, tell him I slit his throat in this dream I had." You'd think that Marshall would at least be blessed by a wonderful mother, but according to him that was not the case. On top of constantly making him switch schools, she also put him through a number of other odd things. In lyrics, Eminem claims that his mother was addicted to pain medication, for example "Just try to envision witnessin'  your mama poppin prescription pills in the kitchen" (Esling).  Debbie Mathers-Briggs however denies the accusations in various interviews. She claims such things as “having a beauty degree,” and “being there for Marshall’s half brother Nathan” (Esling). However the media has yet to discover legitimate proof to either side of the story.

     Amidst the tough family relationships in his childhood, young Marshall also had a burning love/hate relationship with Kimberly Scott. The two first met at ages 13 and 15, when mutual friends introduced them. Marshall tried to impress Kim immediately by jumping from couch to couch and lip-syncing to different rap songs (All About Kim). Eventually they started to date, and when Kim and her twin sister Dawn ran away from home, it was Debbie Mathers who took them in. Shortly afterwards they dropped out of high school together, but continued to live with Mathers-Briggs (All About Kim). It was only after they had their daughter, Hailie Jade Scott, that they moved into their own dwelling in a high crime neighborhood. Due to financial stress, the relationship was soon spoiled (All About Kim). This first breakup however didn’t last very long, and they were married on June 14^th 1999. This marriage didn’t last long either and they were divorced later that summer (All About Kim). Eminem’s single “Kim” was inspired by the divorce,  it featured him having a back and forth conversation with Kim, he even provided her voice (and eventually screams) himself. The single eventually drove Kim to attempt suicide and be sent to rehab, leaving Hailie in the custody of Marshall. After she returned from rehab, Eminem popped the question a second time, but this marriage was even shorter than the last. Many songs have been written for her since (All About Kim).

     Although Kim was , and is, a large part of Eminem’s life, music is as well. Music not only got him out of financial trouble, but it is also an outlet for his anger. Or really “Slim Shady’s” anger. Slim Shady is Eminem’s alter ego of sorts whom he blames for his angry and sometimes offensive lyrics. Eminem says that the idea for Slim Shady came to him while he was on the toilet (Who's the Real Slim Shady?). Since inventing the alter ego Slim Shady has appeared in many songs such as “The Real Slim Shady” and even has an entire album to himself “The Slim Shady LP.” (Who's the Real Slim Shady?) Unfortunately there was a bump in Eminem’s career after Slim Shady came to be: drug addiction. Eminem couldn’t fall asleep without sleeping pills, which he began to abuse (Esling). His album “Encore” didn’t live up to his acclaimed previous three albums, and his fan base was extremely disappointed. Little did they know, he was battling drug addiction the entire album (Esling). Now it was his turn to leave the kids, and go to rehab. During which he wrote many songs for his album “Relapse” which also failed to please the public. Interestingly his next album “Recovery” which was written when he was completely clean did better than the last two albums combined (Esling).

Supposedly Eminem is working on his 8^th solo album. Not only that but the 8^th installment of his life. The 8^th installment of songs whose lyrics will be examined under a microscope. But mostly an 8^th installment of controversy.

Permanence

Eminem, Billie Joe Armstrong, Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson. Just a few celebrities and musicians that relied on drugs heavily. Two of them dead because of that reliance. Anthony Kiedis of The Red Hot Chili Peppers is no different. His love for drugs didn't exactly kill him, but it did eat away at the first half of his life. What did he find in drugs that he was willing to sacrifice so much for?

     Anthony was never very close to his mother. He had moved out of her little Michigan house to L.A. before he was ten. The reason for this drastic change in location was his pot smoking, half shirt wearing, long haired hippie of a father. Just like any other little boy his age, Anthony idolized his father no matter what, he didn't care that daddy had left his mother to raise him on her own. In his eyes none of that mattered now as long as they were together. And for a while they were. But that was before his dad's drug dealing became excessive and he was dubbed as "Spider." From that point on the only time Anthony ever received any attention from his beloved father, was when he was following in his footsteps. Doing drugs, partying hard, and even losing his virginity at age 14. That's how the life changing addiction began, as a way to get attention from his father. There was one thing Anthony could always count on though, and that was the white stray cat that lived in his yard. After a hard day at school, or an argument with a friend, Anthony would confide in this cat instead of his parent. It was after the cat disappeared that Anthony began doing drugs for more than just attention.

     Another aspect to think about is that Anthony never knew any better. He never had a mother, or even a healthy parental relationship to lead him in the right direction. The only adult guidance he ever received, taught him that drugs were indeed the answer to everything. It was his own father that taught him all the wrong lessons, and took him to experience those lessons firsthand. Instead of hanging out with friends on weekends like most kids his age, Anthony would be downtown in different clubs partying, getting drunk, and doing drugs. He never knew any better, and this way of life soon became a strong and almost unbreakable habit.

     Strangely enough, Anthony grew up to be in a successful band, "The Red Hot Chili Peppers." It's a miracle he came so far with such unhealthy habits and background. But he soon realized that he couldn't balance both drug addiction and a semi famous band all at once. Drugs not only burned a hole in his wallet, but they also made a negative impact on his health. Eventually he realized that although the drugs gave him an amazing high, he strived for permanence. After a life of instability, he probably wanted to rest easy knowing drugs weren't getting in the way of his income, friendships, and music, things that were permanent unlike highs. After wrestling with the idea a few months, one of his closest friends, and the bands guitarist, Hillel Slovak passed away. From a drug overdose. That was Anthony's turning point. He now realized he not only owed it to himself to become sober, but to Hillel as well.

     It's true when they say that drugs are an addictive substance, obviously they destroy multiple people's lives, because they are so addicted to these substances. Anthony was just as addicted and dependent as the next helpless addict, but he was addicted to other things too, things he craved more than he could ever need drugs. Stability in his life, and the music that made that possible for him.

The Lonely

      Emotion can be a beautiful and terrible thing. Unfortunately, the terrible side seems to prevail. There are so many emotions that can hurt you, grief, confusion, pain, and embarrassment to name a few.  But in my opinion the feeling of loneliness is the absolute worst. Going through grief is easier with a shoulder to cry on, confusion with someone to help point the way, someone to numb your pain, and someone to turn your embarrassing moment into a funny one. But what happens if you're alone? Ask Ty MacFarlane, who's been living alone in the middle of a desert for months. Completely surrounded by nothingness. Not even he, who considers himself a real lover of the land, can stand the loneliness for too long.  That's where Gemma comes in, another victim of the lonely.

     Tyler MacFarlane, or just Ty for short, takes the term "living off the land" to heart. He finds the desert so incredible, that he wants to live there: alone. His typical day consists of walks in the heat, working out with his punching bag, gathering food, and observing the land. All alone. Even at night, when the desert gets scary and the wind begins to howl, he sleeps alone. Not only is Ty alone physically, but mentally as well. Family has never been a big concept in Ty's life. His childhood seems to be one of those typical sob stories that you see everywhere these days, his dad left when he was very young, and his mother became addicted to substances and was therefore deemed incapable of taking care of him. Life at the orphanage quickly became the norm for Ty. A norm where nobody paid him any special attention, or saw him as their own. He now needs to fulfill this empty companionless void that has become his life. And he chooses to do this with Gemma.

     Gemma has always been a loner in a way herself. Within her group of friends, she seems to be the odd one out. While the rest of them would prefer to get wasted in the local park, she'd rather be reading or writing. Not that she'd ever tell them that though. They'd make fun of her! So she remains quietly different from them, a mind that is sharp, among a clan of dull ones. Her family situation isn't much better. Money, success in the office, and respect among peers rank above Gemma on her parents' list of priorities in life, and being an only child she doesn't exactly have a sibling to turn to. The loneliness doesn't truly hit her until she's alone in her room, curled up with her book.  Maybe she could use Ty's help, just not in the way he envisioned it.

     Another couple that is racked by loneliness on both sides, is the "Twilight Saga's" Bella and Edward. Being a vampire, Edward doesn't age and has been alive about 100 years. Somehow in that span of time he has never fallen in love, amidst his entire adopted family, who are all together and enjoy flaunting it. Bella resembles Gemma in a way, because like her she doesn't seem to connect with anyone around her. Bella's mom describes her as "a middle aged child," always thinking and acting responsibly. In the world of high school, it's hard to find another person who thinks that way. When she moves to Forks Washington with her father, the loneliness only gets worse. Her father is not exactly a verbose person, and seems to be pretty hard to reach. Luckily these two found each other, and they're no longer victims of this degrading emotion.

     To say the least, loneliness is hard. Imagine that feeling of having absolutely nobody to turn to. That feeling of taking on your life alone. Ty and Gemma may not have had a perfect Bella and Edward ending to their story…or an even remotely similar beginning or middle. But at least for a time they had each other.