Friday, May 17, 2013

The New Boy

( Author's Note: Sorry about the weird formatting on this. It won't even let me italicize it to do this author's note. Just ignore the awkward dialogue and format in general) After dinner, she walked out to the yard, and sat on the stoop. The cool air helped calm her queasy stomach. Her youngest brother was shooting hoops alone. When he saw her, he walked over. "What happened to Robbie?" he asked her, "Why doesn't he ever come over anymore?" "Me and Robbie broke up," she responded. "Why?" She grimaced and ignored him. Realizing he wouldn't get an answer, her brother returned to playing basketball. Alone. At age 15, she knew too much about loneliness. Her brother looked bored. He returned over to the stoop. "Do you have a new boy?" he asked. "I suppose." she responded. "Will I get to meet him?" he asked. "Probably not." "Why?" Again no answer. This time her brother went to go sit on one of three swings. She watched as his look of boredom returned. He walked over to her a third time. "Did you meet him at school?" "No." "Well where did you meet him?" "Somewhere else." "Do you see him at school?" "No." "Does he go to your school?" "He used to." "He moved?" "No." Her brother walked away to go ponder the missing boyfriend. He took his bike out of the garage, and began riding in circles around the driveway. The sun was beginning to set she noticed. Must be almost 8. In an hour it'd be getting dark, and all the bars would open. She grimaced at the thought.
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4 comments:

  1. MarissaLMay 17, 2013 at 10:31 AM

    I think that this piece is supposed to resemble a piece of Hemingway's writing because it talks a lot about loneliness and sadness, and darkness. You did a good job with portraying all of the charters as glum and dark.

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  2. Kyle RMay 17, 2013 at 10:34 AM

    I know that you are mimicking Hemingway because although the word choice isn't very strong, it tells a story. You gave hints to explain something you hadn't written down. Very deep :)

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  3. Jenna S.May 17, 2013 at 10:41 AM

    I think this resembles Hemingway because you choose a morbid topic and wrote it without a lot of detail. I liked how it was still a story even though you used limited words.

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  4. Jess FMay 17, 2013 at 10:47 AM

    I see that this resembles a Hemingway piece. I think you chose a story that could easily be really long and have lots of description, but instead you told it in limited words.

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